Tragic Magic: A Disease of Evil
by Princess SimbiAni Dreamz a'Luv
Summary: !2002! Up to s5ep09 "Sam" - Phoebe & Cole think over their feelings.. does she forgive him? Warning! Cry-worthy level: umm, 7? Maybe a 6.. /songfic: Matchbox Twenty\


**Tragic Magic: A Disease of Evil**  
by **SimbiAni™ **

Summary: (s5epi9:Sam) Phoebe & Cole think over their feelings... Does she forgive him? Warning! Cry-worthy level: Umm, 7? Maybe a 6... ©2G2. Plz read&review, thx! (songfic) Matchbox Twenty, "Disease". Lyrics may be slightly diff to fit story.  
•§•

Phoebe sat in her room, in the manor. Her sisters had gone to sleep, Leo too. Meanwhile, she was being kept up; her mind was racing. Tonight felt worse than the other nights. It felt so stressful, and the thoughts- the nightmares- would not go away. She had lost her "soulmate" to evil, and she wished it was for the last time. She just wanted so badly to move on. Surely there had to be someone else she could spend the rest of her life with...? But really- she shook her head, telling herself not to worry about that, about anything serious, for a long while. Yeah, she was "dating", and that was her focus now; to relax and feel better about life. Have fun- like Paige. But no matter what she did, the pain was still there. Her heart hurt with every breath, and even when she tried not to, she still thought of him...

_Feels like you made a mistake...  
You made somebody's heart break  
And now I have to let you go  
I have to let you go_

You left a stain...  
On everyone of my good days  
But I am stronger than you know  
I have to let you go

No one's ever turned you over  
No one's tried, to ever let you down  
Beautiful soul, bless your heart

One thing Phoebe did understand- about Cole- was how much he tried to be good. How many times had he saved her and her sisters, not to mention countless others? Ever since he came back, with those extraordinary new powers... But they were evil powers, and she knew they were like an infection- doomed to eventually spread back to his good heart and make him evil once more. Like... a disease.

_You got a disease  
Deep inside you, makes me  
Feel uneasy, baby  
I can't live without you  
Tell me, whatamI s'posed to do about it? _

Keep, your distance from me  
Don't pay no attention to me   
You got a disease

Cole was bored- and his longing for Phoebe was tearing him down. So here he was, lurking around her house, like he had done many previous times before. Of course, with a simple finger-snap he would have been able to see her from his own apartment, but he felt real was always better, especially in this case. Outside her window, he looked in, expecting to see her asleep. Instead, she was sitting up, her hands to her head. He wanted to hold her, comfort her; though it was him who was responsible for all the pain she felt. Yes, she loved him, and now no longer wanted to share that love. He saw it everytime she had looked at him. They had tried one too many times to fix things, to start over. But, oh, how he wanted her...

_Feels like we're making a mess  
You're heavenly, full of goodness  
But you drove me to the fire  
And left me there to burn_

Every little thing you do is magic  
All my life before was tragic   
Beautiful girl, I can't breathe

As Cole stood there, with any of his numerous powers allowing him to go undetected, he growled in frustration. She was so close, and yet so out of reach. Why must evil still be a part of him? Why couldn't he get rid of these powers- why was fate forcing him to keep them? All these questions, and not a single answer. He was not one to give up. He _did_ want her to be happy, and if that meant moving on without him- could he face it? He silently chided himself for being so selfish, and tried to think of the ways he could continue living. But a deeper question ached inside him, and he wondered... How long until evil takes him over again?

_I got a disease  
Deep inside me, makes me  
Feel uneasy, baby  
I can't live without you  
Tell me, whatamI s'posed to do about it? _

Keep, your distance from me  
Don't pay no attention to me   
I got a disease

He used to be so strong on his own, nothing had ever been able to soften him in the least. Now he was almost a totally different being. The strength of his powers did not matter; he was emotionally broken. A weakness usually only seen in... humans. He felt tired, weary, and if he'd let himself, he knew he'd be crying right then. Instead, quiet tears slipped from his eyes, as he as tried to squint them back. With one last forlorn look at her, he whispered, "I still love you..." Then he phased out, back to his place. His haunting thoughts followed him...

_And well, I think that I'm sick  
But leave me be while my world is coming down on me  
You taste like honey, honey  
Tell me, why can't I be your honey?_

Be, be strong- keep telling myself that it won't take long till  
I'm free of my disease  
Free of my disease...  
Set me free of my disease...

Phoebe felt a chill wash over her, and instinctively, she whipped a glance over to her window. The lonely darkness was all she saw, resigning her to shrug off the feeling with a sigh. _It was probably my mind... my memory... playing more tricks on me..._ But then, she knew, just _knew_, the truth. He still watched over her sometimes, and she could always feel it. If only... No, no, NO. They had tried everything- even their strongest vanquishing spell! It was hopeless to worry any more over it, even if that meant leaving him to suffer without her. It wasn't as if they had trapped him in solitude; he could still find someone else to love, right? ... Well, of course he couldn't- he loved _her_! And he always would. His love, fighting against the Source inside him, had shown her that. So what was she to do?

_You got a disease,  
Deep inside you, makes me  
Feel uneasy, baby  
I can't live without you  
Tell me, whatamI s'posed to do about it? _

Keep, your distance from me  
Don't pay no attention to me   
You got a disease

That was the main reason that she really did not want to get involved with him anymore. The risk- it was too great. And- okay, so that's what it was that held her back. Fear. She was afraid- very much so, of anything going wrong... something that could destroy them for good next time. She knew better than to rely on their past escapes as examples that "they could survive anything". Her eyes misted as a thought of Prue crossed her mind. Yes, she would stay strong, there was no way she was gonna let evil ruin their Power of Three.

_And well, I think that you're sick  
I'll leave you be while your world is coming down on you  
You may taste like honey, honey  
But I'm tellin' you, I can't be your honey_

Be, be strong- keep telling myself that it won't take long till  
You're free of that disease  
Free of that disease...  
Wish I could set you free of that disease...

•§• 

Phoebe stumbled into her bathroom, flicking on the nitelight instead of the bright one. When the water was warm enough, she rinsed her face. She didn't even glance in the mirror- she did not want to see her tear-streaked cheeks. She took a deep breath. _I'm wrong... I can't go on like this..._ Then, knowing he would hear her, she called out in a voice not loud enough to wake her sisters: "Cole, come back..." Within seconds, he was there, although it looked more like a reflex than a response. As if he meant to appear if she ever said his name, but this time he looked... asleep?

"Huh?" He realized he was standing in her room, and got his bearings. "Did you actually... _call_ me here?..." He rubbed his eyes and ran his hands through his hair, absently.

"Cole, I- I... I'm just so sorry!!! I tried and tried and nothing has worked... I honestly don't wanna lose you- not ever- but I didn't know what else to do- I was just so- so- I don't like being afraid and thought the only way left to fix it or get over it was to leave you... I'm sorry... please forgive me!! We _can_ use your powers for good... just... in moderation... but... my love helps, right? I mean, if our love stays strong, evil has less power to ruin you... not that that is any lone reason... I do love you & always have... I'll... I want you back..."

Cole stood there watching this, in his own state of shock. _God, I must be dreaming... Knew I shouldn't have watched her earlier tonight!_ She seemed unsteady then, and he wrapped his arms around her. She cried for so long against his chest, soaking his shirt with her tears of regret. He didn't mind at all. Cradling her, he prayed this was true, that it would not disappear like a lost memory... He kissed her hair, and led her to her bed. After tucking her in, he pulled the chair close and gazed at her now peaceful form. Soon, he fell alseep himself.

•§• 

Around eight a.m. the next morning, two people who loved each other so deeply and unimagineably so, woke to the sun streaming through their windows.

But it was just another day, and they were still alone... in their different rooms, to lead their different lives... not with each other. Phoebe knew the dream was never coming true- it couldn't. Cole knew that stubborn Phoebe would never take him back... it had all been a dream...

**The End **

A/N: I'm sorry!!!! I just felt it had to end sad since he's leaving the show in reality... maybe it's my way of dealing, I don't kno... ;-( So sorry!!!

•§•

CHARMED™ is copyright of the WB, etc. ˆ-ˆ   
©2G3


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